Five Years Of Confusion
by calmyourfarm
Summary: Clary Fray has been awe struck and not to mention completely in love with Simon Lewis for five years. When she finally confides to the only person who knows, Jace Wayland, for help she will slowly begin to question if it was just a silly crush or true love or even has she been falling for someone else all these years. (suck at summaries sorry)
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This is my first fic so please no judging me. I've always been a massive fan and thought I could try writing about the beautiful couple that is clace! Anyway please enjoy:)**

I remember it hurt. Looking at him hurt. When I looked at him I was reminded of the 5 years I've spent pining over a boy who doesn't even know that I love him or just doesn't care, and that person was Simon Lewis. The best way to describe him was Indie, not just because of his many band tee's that somehow only I knew but because he would ramble on about things that just came across as very indie _eg._ how Morrissey had become vegan or something stupid like that again. Also his entire demeanour was lanky but hot, he also possessed the cutest hair ever! I know I shouldn't be fangirling but the way his dark brown hair would fall slightly over his eyes every time he was concentrating making me just want to jump his bones. As I look at him sitting in class with his cute curly brown hair and massive rounded glasses, making him look nerdy but sexy somehow, and not to mention his breath taking good looks, I begin thinking about whether or not to just be upfront with him and tell him how I feel. But as he turns to say hi I try and pretend to act like haven't just been drooling over him for the past 10 minutes. And to my misfortune, the only person aware of my dire love for 'ratboy' as he would call him was Jace Wayland. It not like I wanted Jace to find out but because he spent so much time hanging around at my house with my brother, just constantly annoying me and treating me like a five year old, he said as I became better and better friends with Simon he saw the way I looked at him or something extremely cliché like that. But anyway when I sitting here listen to my boring teacher grumble on about something I was completely uninterested in and looking at Simon I just don't understand why Jace could see it how I felt but Simon couldn't. ~0~ On the way to lunch I bumped in Jace who winked at me like he always would to annoy me. But before I describe him to you just know that I'm only human so if I get carried away just please bear with it. Anyway, Jace was at least one and half ft. taller than me which for some reason it gave him the excuse to call me things like tidge and baby carrot (this not only insulted my height but my firey red hair) but I'd be lying if I didn't say he was probably a fallen angel. Every feature on his face complimented him from his golden eye that matched the sun to his perfect sun kissed skin and the way his hair was the perfect length to grab if you were going to furiously make out and the way he had a crooked tooth which meant that every time I made him laugh he would have a wicked grin right before that would make me want to pass out, see what I meant I'm rambling. His body was no doubt a temple and worst of all he was wearing a top that clearly was meant to torture me, _damn me and my stupid hormones._ It clung tohim in all the right places and seriously who wouldn't want that? Anyway as I was saying as I bumped into him I was reminded how badly I need to speak to him about the whole Simon situation. As I began rambling on and on about my unrequited love, all golden boy did was sigh and simply said "jealously is a very powerful thing tidge." And to my surprise I actually understood what he was talking about.


	2. Chapter 2

When I finally got home I could see that Jace had already beaten me back. As he and my brother lay on the couch play COD on the x-box I could see that Jace way eyeing me up. As I turned and gave him the bitchiest face I could, I saw as he was nudging his head towards the kitchen as if he wanted me to meet him in there. As Jace left leaving me and my brother John in an awkward silence (he clearly knew something was up but blatantly wasn't the slightest bit bothered to ask) I waited ten seconds before retreating to my kitchen to meet him.

I could already see Jace savaging through my fridge like he lived here, _which he kind of already did_ , which gave me to perfect opportunity to scare him out of his wits. So I did so, screaming loud enough for Jace to jump but not quite enough for John to hear. Watching Jace smash his head into the upper shelf was probably the highlight of my day, _other than talking to Simon._

" _SHIT!_ Dammit Clary I could of had a heart attack!"

"All the more reason for me to do it" Saying this was surely going to tick him off, which was one of my many hobbies. Then I remembered that I had no idea why Jace had ushered me in here in the first place.

"Why did you want to talk in the kitchen? And not in front of John?"

"Well I thought seen as we were going to discuss RatBoy I assumed you didn't want John knowing. Anyway not the point. My whole reason for bringing you here is to help you _get_ RatBoy."

"Are you being serious or are you still trying to mess with me? And actually be serious this time Jace because my heart is at stake."

"I promise. All you have to do is make him jealous."

"Seriously Jace you think I haven't already thought of that? Do you understand this is my true love we're talking about?"

"Can you just listen to me for a sec tidge? I didn't say how you were going to make him jealous." He took my silence as a hint to carry on. "You can make him jealous by 'dating' the hottest guy in school." I slowly began to clock onto what he was suggesting and it made me want to hurl. Knowing how cocky Jace is he was definitely talking about himself.

"NO FUCKING WAY JACE!"

"And why exactly not? This can be my thank you for letting me hook up with your friend Isabelle." What was Jace going on about? I don't remember condoning this. But that isn't my current problem.

"Because...because... your like my brother! It just feels wrong" But even as I tried to fathom another excuse, I gave up, knowing damn well it was because I would end up having to kiss Jace. Meaning my first kiss would be with Jace. This was the most shameful thing ever and no way in hell was I sharing that with him.

After a thoughtful silence I broke the ice and came to my conclusion.

In my quietest voice I whisper "Fine but I make the rules."

 **Hope that you enjoyed this chapter! Bear in mind I was half awake writing so it may have** **ALOT** **of mistakes in it but hey ho!**

 **Clare x**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:**

 **All rights belong to the amazing Cassandra Clare.**

Night time was fast approaching and Jace still hadn't left. We had decided what we were going to do. And since it was Friday the news of mine and Jace's 'relationship' wouldn't be unleashed to the world until Monday, it thankfully gave us time to prepare. Me being the most awkward person ever just sat twiddling my thumbs on my bed waiting for Jace to say something first.

"Right, so erm, right"

"Right" _Really Clary that's all you can come up with?_ "Jace this is horrific stop being a weirdo and just friggin' sit on my bed. It's not going to bite!"

"Yes, but you might" Winking at me as he did so, knowing it was going to annoy me. He finally retreated to my cosy queen size bed, which happening to be holding at least 30 cushions.

"Jesus fuckin' Christ! Why do you own so many pillows? And you called me the weirdo" He nudged me playfully thus making me want to have his children. _It's normal for me to think that isn't it?_

 _"Jace._ Just shut up. We need to talk business"

"Right! And first order of business is.." This pause made me feel very uncomfortable. But thankfully he had this gleam in his eyes that meant he was about to make a joke. "Will you Clary Adele Fray be my one and truly only girlfriend? And don't think too hard because have you seen me? I could be snatched up by some else very quickly." All I did was roll my eyes.

In the world's worst Texas accent I gleamed brightly "well I be damned. I sure as hell gon do it!" He did his amazing grin and then I just carried on as if I hadn't just made an absolute fool of myself. "Okay just forget I did that and we'll be good to carry on. Lets make ground rules. Firstly no touching me below the waist, and no, erm, you know.. kissing me like erm full on" Jace began grinning like an idiot so I smacked him across the head.

"Hey! I was just smiling at how cute you are when you get nervous. Fine, my turn you can't fall in love with me." This statement was preposterous, as if I would fall for golden boy all he did was annoy me!

"Pfft just think that one through then I doubt you'll be as scared of me falling for you. Besides the main reason we're doing this is get me my man!" I saw slightly his grin retracted as I said this but was back soon enough when I fell on my arse getting off the bed. "Jace I'm you're girlfriend now! You're not supposed to laugh, you're meant to help me!"

"Aw, I'm sorry sweetcheeks. Speaking of, how is your arse? Quite the fall you had there."

"I'm fine" I snapped back. _I'm really starting to doubt whether this was a good idea or not._

 _###_

Saturday was a blur. And on Sunday all I did was sit on my bum and watch Criminal Minds with Si. Since he was staying the night because my mum and dad were away, _like always_ , I thought he could just stay in my bed. _Before you get any ideas it was just a platonic suggestion. Merely for convenience because Jace was staying on the couch._ As we were settling down for the night a loud banging was at my door. I creaked it open ever so lightly thinking it was John saying good night but oh how I was mistaken. It was a drunk Jace who thought he was whispering but in actual fact was screaming.

"Hey BabyCarot! Shhhh I know you're loverboy is in there so I will make this brief."

"Jace shut the fuck up! You may not realise this but you are screaming your head off! Be quick!" I tried to make this quiet but had no luck I could just tell Simon was listening in.

"Okay okay. crazy. All I was gonna say was..." I thought he was contemplating whether or not to tell me. But I was wrong again. Jace quickly and smoothly picked my up and put me to the side so he could enter. All the while I was screaming my head off.

"Jace you twat! Put me down! Fucking hell, I hate you!"

"Chill you beans God!" Simon clearly confused by the whole situation look at me for an explanation but Jace beat me to the punch.

"Alright RatBoy! I just came in here to clear a few things up. Firstly I don't know if clary told you but" _no no no no this could not be happening_ "me and Clarebear are dating now" Jace didn't let that sink into to Simon before carrying on "so I thereby force you to not share a bed with my woman!"

"Oh my god! Clary, why didn't you tell me? I completely understand Jace. I I... I will take the couch you can have the bed." As Simon stalked at the room not even looking a tad jealous I sighed in disappointment, when I sudden thought hit me, _now there is no backing out of our plan._ I was then rudely interrupted in this train of thought by Jace jumping onto MY bed! That wasn't the worst part, the worst was what Jace considered pjs. All he was wearing we some plain dark blue pants. Just as I was about to yell at him as well, I was being stunned into silence by his amazing body. Not a thing was wrong with his perfect sculpted six pack. The only thing that was ruining this look of perfection was a small heart shaped scar on his shoulder, well I wouldn't say ruined but more gave him a less god like figure.

I gave a sigh that tired to express my exasperation with him but all he could was grin at me.

"Ah sweetcheeks, I finally have you all to myself!"

"I honestly don't want to sound like a bitch but what are you doing dick?"

"I thought you knew the plan tidge? All I'm doing is moving the relationship forward" At this point I had no energy to argue with him so just went to bed again and tucked myself in with Jace following my lead.

"I don't care enough to be angry so let me just watch the beautiful Dr. Spencer Reid in peace."

"Okay fine I love criminal minds anyway." Oddly enough Jace actually did sit in silence and when I cheeked to see if he was watching I realised he wasn't. Jace was staring at me, he had this look that I've only seen once before. It was on my prom when I had to have Jace as my date, _Dad said I was allowed a date if he knew him,_ and as we were dancing to a slow song Jace looked right at me and said "you really do look beautiful tonight Clary." I blushed from the memory and tried to brush it away. When I started to stare back Jace took that as a hint for him to stop looking and it really didn't bother me. Did it? He turn around to lie down, still a light tipsy and before he fell asleep whispered;

"You really looked beautiful tonight Clary. I really couldn't share, sorry" This was the second time he had used my actual name and it made me blush a dark red. When I was trying to fall asleep the memory of what he had said was still fluttering in my mind.

 **To be continued**

 **-Clare x**


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